Birthday Special: 7 Realisations on 7 Years of Writing Morning Pages

I have never done something so consistently. Nor has any other activity felt so easy to make my own.

Sep 22, 2024

Article voiceover

1×

0:00

-9:20

It is my birthday today. I have stopped playing it cool. There was a time I nodded with woke bros who called birthdays a capitalist scam.

Now I have become a scamster myself:

When I quit full time teaching, I softly blackmailed my students, ‘If I have added any value to your life, please read and write a little on 22nd September. That’s my birthday and by making time to read and write, you are giving me a gift.’ Every 22nd September, I get a few messages saying that they have done the needful. Isn’t this a perfect little scam?

So I am going to trap you into another, by writing about one of the most creativity-strengthening, chaos-digesting, and meditative practices I have experienced.

THE MORNING PAGES

On 14th September, I completed 7 years with this incredible journaling practice.

Many of you do it or are familiar with it. Some of you are hearing about it for the first time. A few of you will unsubscribe because it will remind you of your moustached uncle who said you should keep a diary but never told you why or how.

But I assure you, morning pages is not a diary to be filled. It is a BEING of its own. A mysterious method that can take you from feeling helpless to hopeful, from speed to slowness, or from freeze to action. It offers me some great answers, yes, but it helps me ask the right questions, and thus crafts me a better experience of being human.

But what IS morning pages?

Morning Pages is a method developed by Julia Cameron, in her book ‘The Artist’s Way’. She prescribes hand-writing 3 pages of non-stop, stream-of-consciousness (write everything you think), first thing in the morning, in the privacy of a notebook. Thousands of people across the world have felt empowered to be in this kind of daily self-consultation.

I found morning pages when I had lost hope, clarity, and purpose. Not only did I recover all those, I found newer realms within me, confronting the past and dreaming afresh.

7 Realisations on 7 Years of Writing Morning Pages

1. Morning is a Metaphor.

Morning is a metaphor for waking up. I do the pages whenever I want to wake up from an unconscious way of being. It is tempting to remain in the slumber of mindlessness and dissociation. Morning pages help me wake up with my pen on the page, removing the crust of insecurities from my eyes, stretching my ego into a broader sense of self. Morning, afternoon, right after a nap, at 8 PM - I have done morning pages at all times of the day.

Having said that, doing the morning pages in the morning made me a morning person. Oh, how I appreciate a space to dump all my morning dread before I start my day!

2. It is not about how hard you can discipline, but how softly you can forgive.

I am still surprised that I have stuck to a habit for so long. I’ve found that traditionally disciplined people struggle with morning pages and the rebellious ones take to them quicker. They cherish the container, a witness to their myriad acts of rebellions. They are okay with the unpredictability of what will come up on any given day.

Consistency consists of more forgiveness than determination. I’ve been able to continue for 7 years because I forgave myself whenever I missed a day to two. If only I could apply this wisdom to exercise!

3. There is nothing more beautiful than facing the ugly.

Pages revealed to me that I’m not the positive person I thought I was. And that is okay. Because here is a practice that holds my complaining and ranting, thus preventing from unconsciously abusing people who listen. I almost become a pleasant person to be around.

The fearful and resentful thoughts thin down when I start listing them. Soon the water runs clear. And there’s more joy in arriving at a positive thought than imposing it on oneself. Calling it brain dump or word vomit or my preferred, mental bath, helps us see it as a hygienic release. Facing the ugly starts to feel beautiful.

4. Pages are expansive and intuitive.

It is not always healthy. Pages are just a mirror. They reflect me back to me. So if I am obsessing only with what is wrong, the pages feel heavy. After a few days of weeks of whining, I am pushed to take action.

Pages are expansive. I remember the day I sat in Lodhi Gardens, my heart aching from a conflict. I could not do morning pages. But I wrote a 6 page letter to Sugar, my favourite advice columnist. And then I replied to myself, as she would in her compassionate way.

I listen to the intuition of pages. They make me draw whenever I get too thinky thinky. They push me to publish when I start to hoard my writing.

5. Rules are for you, not upon you.

Many people are put off by the rules prescribed my Cameron. Nobody can empathise better than me, who dislikes rules in every other aspect of life. However, this is the first time I could see the care behind the rules. When she asks us to keep the pages private, she wants absolute privacy for us, which is a gift in these times. When she says write with your hand, she wants our body to be involved, our subconscious, our imperfect squiggles.

That doesn’t mean we can’t break rules. Write on a laptop. Share snippets with those you trust. Write half page or seven. Help yourself do the things that help you. Make it your own. Once again, if only I could apply this wisdom to exercise!

6. Your multitudes contain multitudes.

Slowly along with art and lists and letters, I wrote observations for an essay, ideas for teaching, therapy homework. I parked prompts for myself on the last page. I used them for cathartic, therapeutic, creative purposes. I discovered new tastes, areas of interest, topics I would like to write about. It was a new kind of mental agriculture where seeds of ideas were sowed into the privacy of the journal, mixed with the manure of emotions, and poems appeared on the page like fresh, green shoots.

I had no idea that I could go in so many directions with one practice.

7. Creativity is a mere side-effect of letting life flow through you.

I began morning pages to become a better writer and a more creative person. But it gave me an even more essential gift: SANITY. It encourages me to slow down, to become a tea strainer almost, let the feelings pass through me for a hot second. I don’t think I would have written even a fraction of what I have written in the past few years, without morning pages. I don’t think I would have designed a game or tried some crazy activities in class.

If I allow life happen to me, learn to not suppress myself, creativity just happens.

Here is the scam I promised at the beginning - If this post makes any sense, try out morning pages for 7 days and let me know how it went. If you are already a veteran morning pages person, please share your tips and lessons. That will be my birthday gift.