11 Comments

Reading this on the coldest day in my city hits different ♥️

Expand full comment

<3 and I'm having chaaha as I read your comment! :D

Expand full comment

I kept nodding (sometimes taking deep breaths and closing my eyes and nodding) while reading. Thank you for sharing this!! This is refreshing. I am still brewing the idea of adulthood and adult-ing. For me, adulting meant be a machine, follow a script, do what others do, life will be fine. And I did that as a kid. I was an adult-kid. Always working for that 'good girl' medal. Now, I am an adult-kid too. Choosing to leave school(the link you posted), designing my own way of life, having fun everyday. Understanding that 'good and bad' are my own judgements against myself and it is that what makes it more hurtful.

I hated winters too. I experienced snow for the first time some 5 years ago. First three years I hated my job and my life and that worsened in winter as I had to walk in snow, slip fall etc etc. Snow looked like dandfruff flakes and it disgusted me.

But after I quit that job, explored my own life and what I want from life, and started having fun. I made snowman. I played with snowballs, I jumped on fluffy cotton candy type snow. And snow flakes now look like sugar powdered on chocolate cake.

I tried the hotchocolate with marshmellows as they show in movies etc and I tried hard to feel like a character from some poorly written rom-com themed around Christmas. However, when I made some hot-spicy-tangy rasam and sipped that while watching the snowfall from my 4th floor hostel window, it hit all the right spots. It was a never-written highly emotional real life thing happening. Like the 19th point, it was harder to follow that poorly written script of how I should probably feel, but updating it to suit `me`. The process of making that rasam from scratch was long and difficult but very very joyful unique and only for me!

Expand full comment

Ah! Loved how the snow changed for you and how you paired it with rasam. Maybe because you are an artist, I could imagine it as a painting: the two contrasting colours and temperatures and textures. It was soothing to read your comment. :) :) & I took a deep breath too.

Expand full comment

Such gorgeous writing, Raju! So tender, wise, playful, full of love ❤️ thank you for this beautiful gift. I really needed to read this today ❤️❤️

Expand full comment

Thank YOU for this gift.. this fresh comment on an old piece written in peak loneliness…in a time of not writing it means so much to be encouraged in this genuine way.. 💜

Expand full comment
4dEdited

This is a phenomenal piece of writing! My god. That dread of winter resonated with me right down to my bones 😔🤗

Expand full comment

uff.. a warm hug ♥️

Expand full comment

I will save this piece and come back to it in every moment of stuckness. There was so much quiet strength in every single line. Uufffff. 💜

Expand full comment

Thank you 🩷 You are motivating me to write and read and be me. That’s such a gift.

Expand full comment

♥️

Expand full comment